Communists Say: Indiana Jones 4 Starting Another Cold War

Russian Communist Party members are none too happy with the new movie “Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull,” citing a distortion of history.

In the new Indiana Jones film, an evil KGB agent played bu Cate Blanchett is competing with the famed archeologist to find a mystical and powerful crystal skull.

Viktor Perov, a Communist Party member from St. Petersburg, complains:

“What galls is how together with America we defeated Hitler, and how we sympathized when Bin Laden hit them. But they go ahead and scare kids with Communists. These people have no shame…”

Another party member, Andrei Gindos, said:

“Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett (are) second-rate actors, serving as the running dogs of the CIA. We need to deprive these people of the right of entering the country…”

Unavailable for comment:

Cat Turns Into Woman After Being Hit By Car

Car hits cat, cat turns into woman. Seriously. It’s in the news, so it’s true.

From the Nigerian Tribune article:

“WHAT could be described as a fairy tale turned real on Wednesday in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, as a cat allegedly turned into a middle-aged woman after being hit by a commercial motorcycle (Okada) on Aba/Port Harcourt Expressway.”

But who knows? Maybe this is a genuine scientific miracle.

(image from Worth 1000’s collection of anthropomorphic photoshops)

Mysterious Fake Mustaches Drawn On Bush Cheney Portraits

Unhappy State Department Employees are apparently drawing fake mustaches and the like on large color photos of George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and Condoleezza Rice, the Nukes and Spooks blog reports:

“Outside the State Department ’s press briefing room on the department’s 2nd floor hang large official photos of Bush, Rice and Vice President Dick Cheney. The pictures were, er … modified by persons unknown. (We did not personally witness this, we must admit — or we’d have a photo to post). We’re talking fake mustaches and the like. The defacements were promptly cleaned up. They reappeared.

An edict came down from on high: stop this childishness.”

This reminds me of the last days of going-out-of-business companies, when resentful employees finally blow off some steam and steal the post-its and engrave bitter platitudes on the office furniture with straightened-out paper-clips.