Police On The Hunt For Thong Mask Bandits

For today’s robber, wearing pantyhose on one’s head is sooo passé.

Police in Colorado are on the lookout for two bandits who robbed a convenience store wearing thongs over their heads to conceal their identity. One wore a blue thong, and one green.

Think about it: isn’t a thong the perfect mask for the criminal-on-the-go?

It covers the essential identifying areas: nose, mouth, chin. Yet the eyes remain unobstructed, and the soft, breathable material in the crotch area allows for proper respiration as you attempt to outrun the police.

Best of all, when you’re done with your robbery, you can duck into a bathroom, dark alley, or phone booth, rip off your mask, and wear it in its proper place. Nobody would be the wiser.

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