Category Archives: sex

The 20 Sexiest Barbie Dolls

Just call these dolls “too hot for the toy store”

French Maid Barbie

Pirate Barbie

Supergirl Barbie

Teacher Barbie

Romance Novel Barbie, with Ken as “The Raider”

Grease Sandy

“Red Moon” Barbie

“The Usherette” Barbie

Bob Mackie Cher

Kimora Lee Simmons Barbie

Jazz Baby Barbie

Black Canary Barbie

“Tout De Suite” Barbie

Dallas Cheerleaders Barbie

French Artist Barbie

Grease “Cha Cha” Barbie

Lounge Kitty Barbie

Harley Davidson Ken

“If I Could Turn Back Time” Cher

Little Red Riding Hood Barbie (With Big Bad Wolf)


RIP Playgirl Magazine

I was not a huge reader of Playgirl Magazine, the companion periodical to Playboy that catered to (in theory) the needs of the fairer sex to look at porn.

One issue — I just bought one issue, when I was sixteen, it felt like the thing to do. Kept it under my bed, natch. Didn’t do a lot for me, but it felt “wrong” and  dangerous, so it satisfied my need for “rebellion.”

The print edition of Playgirl is finally shutting its doors
— and will exist online-only. Its Jan/Feb 2009 issue — out in November — will be its last in paper.

Is print pornography “dead”?

Is it easier to clean out the history on your browser than hide a stack of nudie magazines in your closet?

How about the convenient “hands-free slideshow” feature of many porn sites?

And finally — video.

And can the relatively tame material from a Playgirl or Playboy compete with the extremity out there in teh porn Internets?

Anyway, so long Playgirl nudie magazine for women (and certain men). You brought me a memory there in my teenage years, and convinced me that I had an inalienable right to possess pornography on par with any man.  Best of luck to you.

Viral Link Top Ten: The Mad Hatter Edition

10. Secret iPhone Factory Photos!

A woman finds her new iPhone has some top-secret pics on it…

9. “Why So Serious?” Dollar Bill

I’m tempted to do this to my own money, but isn’t it illegal???

8. The Six Worst Comic Book Husbands

Sure, they can fight crime…but what about their skills as a hubby?

7. Princess Chunk The Cat

We are looking for the owner of a 44-pound cat. LOL.

6. Paranoia Sweater

Come out, come out of your deceitful yarn paradise…

5. Johnny Depp To Play Mad Hatter In Tim Burton Alice Flick

I always thought Tim looked like the Mad Hatter, actually…

4. Viper-Flavored Ice-Cream

Dairy that bites…

3. The Night Owls

The best webcomic you’re not reading yet.

2. Keira Knightley Refuses Digital Boob Jobs

…and becomes icon for smaller-breasted women everywhere.

1. George W. Bush as The Joker…

…by Drew Friedman in Vanity Fair!

The Last Of The Portuguese Penis Ceramists

Husband and wife team Francisco and Casilda Figueiredo are keeping the home (and kiln) fires burning on the fading Portuguese art of crafting ornamental ceramic penises. Their handicrafts range from two-foot penis-shaped bottles to mugs and soccer figurines, and they sell the items as souvenirs and to local stores. Back in the day, however, they exported worldwide and sold upwards of 1,000 ceramic penises a month.

The craft of making ceramic penises in Portugal allegedly originated in the mid-1800s, when King Dom Luis suggested that the local artisans create something a bit more unusual and provocative to sell. But nowadays, with a far more liberal and jaded public, ceramic penis bottles and mugs are becoming far less shocking — and thus less popular.

Despite the reduced demand, the Figueiredos still toil in their little village workshop, offering ceramic penis bottles for 15 euros a piece.

(via Javno)

Tuesday’s A Drag

Sex In Space

Sex in space: The final frontier. takes a look at the subject of sexual intercourse in space — how likely it is to happen among crew members isolated in the atmosphere for months at a time, how they would do it, and the inadvisability of getting pregnant in zero gravity.

Firstly: can we reasonably expect a crew to not have sex with each other after being stuck on a three-year mission to one of Jupiter’s moons? Should those crews all be of the same gender? And if they are all of the same gender — can we reasonably expect them not to have sex with each other after being stuck on a three-year mission to one of Jupiter’s moons?

Secondly: the standard missionary position would not seem to be ideal for the zero gravity shag. A whole new kama sutra might have to be invented for intergalactic sex. Complete with “torso straps” to keep those bodies together. (However, those adventurous “sex swing” types who like being suspended from trapezes and chandeliers might benefit).

And finally: pregnancy is a no-no in zero grav. Unless you can get the fetuses to wear little moon boots. So will women have to be temporarily sterilized before being cleared for space travel? Or will our astronauts work on simply an honor system? And can they? See, we are back to the first point.

Top Ten TV Sitcom Sex Maniacs

The lovable nymphomaniac who never catches any major sexually-transmitted diseases is a staple of the television sitcom. Here are ten.

10. Gomez and Morticia Addams, “The Addams Family”

This amorous duo apparently haven’t let domestic life put a damper on their sex life, as they can’t keep their hands off of each other. Bonus: kinky hardware in the family room!

9. Kelly Bundy, “Married With Children”

Ah, what’s more a topic for hilarious situation comedy than a teenage girl indiscriminatingly sleeping around with boys that are no good for her? Though she did have a steady beau, of sorts (played by David Boreanaz).

8. Dan Fielding, “Night Court”

Dan was a sex-obsessed prosecutor who made the life of fellow attorney Christine Sullivan miserable (was there no sexual harassment rules in Judge Harry’s court?).

7. Chef, “South Park”

Chef was a trusted father-figure to the boys at South Park, as well as having one of the best Salty Balls recipes in town and sleeping with Cartman’s mom (who deserves her own place on our list).

6. Charlie Harper, “Two and A Half Men”

Will that scamp Charlie ever settle down? Will he ever realize just what a great woman he has in Rose? Will he ever get tested for STDs? Or was that an episode already?

5. Blanche Devereaux, “Golden Girls”

Saucy Blanche considered her advancing age a mere hiccup in her plan to bed half the eligible men in Miami.

4. Larry Dallas, “Three’s Company”

Larry was a used car salesman who used the same pitches to sell old Dodges that he utilized to pick up chicks. Somehow always managed to find nymphomaniac ex-gymnast Swedish twins who were stewardesses to sleep with.

3. Barney Stinson, “How I Met Your Mother”

Originator of the Hot/Crazy graph for assessing chicks, which won him special mention at the last Nobel Awards ceremony.

2. Glenn Quagmire, “Family Guy”


1. The Fonz, “Happy Days”

Our winner for biggest TV Sitcom Sex Maniac would have to be Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli, whose sexual escapades were legendary — though mostly implied. As a child, I just thought he had a lot of friends who were girls and whose phone numbers he kept on the restroom wall.